Surf's Up.
Dude. WOW!!
I went surfing today, for the first time ever. Can I just say WOW (again)? It was SOOOO COOL. It was AWESOME, it was SO much fun!!
Tate and I went to New Smyrna with some of the crowd from poker night (Mike and Les next door and their kids, Robbie--the guy I got into it with last weekend--and his daughter, and Nicki and her two kids--hubby Chris had to work). The guys rented surfboards and decided they would teach themselves how to surf. So we girls spend most of the time up on the beach, watching the kids and playing with them.
When we were getting close to wrapping up for the day, I just couldn't resist the urge any longer, grabbed one of the boards and told Mikey to teach me too. So we ran out and got to it. Mind you, the guys had NOT done a good job of teaching themselves to surf, they barely got to where they could sortof stand up. Mostly I just didn't want to go alone. So anyhow, we get out there and within 10 minutes I'm up and going and LOVIN' IT!
Wow... I highly recommend surfing to all of you. It's SOOO much fun. I'm definitely going to do this again.
-Jack-
P.S. I leave for Sydney in LESS THAN A WEEK! Woo-hoo!!!
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"The Tension Eases" and "My Boss Made Me Cry"
My big mean boss made me cry this morning. But's it's all better now... (for the moment anyhow, lol) The title up there pretty much explains everything. My boss called me into his office to "find out what's happening" this week, with all the tension and how I don't seem to be on track, blahblah. Basically, his initial intention was to grill me about something he thinks I "went over his head" about... But since it was just me and him in the office, I was able to just get real with him, which always makes him do the same. I'm contagious like that. :-)
So when all is said and done: I cried twice, fully explained the situation that he wrote me up for, and I told him he had been a huge jerk all week. I actually said that, lol. I told him it's not a name-calling or attacking thing, but it's just the truth, he's been a massive jerk all week, and I'm not the only one who is about to quit. I told him I didn't want to be here anymore, and was seriously considering taking another offer. I told him that I LOVE my job, I absolutely LOVE it. But that he and Nancy and all the b.s. was just not worth it, they were ruining it, and I would walk out the door if it didn't change and change NOW.
The tension between myself and my boss is now gone. YAY!! Whew, what a relief. I'm a few steps back from quitting now.
But let me tell you, OOOOOHHHH my goodness. I basically got a job offer this morning on my way to work for twice what I'm making now, with no politics or power-trips, and I'd be home 3 hours earlier each day. Can I just tell you that going in to my job today was intellectually/emotionally the HARDEST thing I've ever done in my life? Egads. I'm still considering the offer, though, even though things at work are somewhat better. Egads, people. TWICE what I'm making now. TWICE. wow... *sigh*
Ok, now you're updated. I hope that made sense. I don't often think very linearly... well, that's not true, I just think in at least three lines at a time, so it can confuse other people when I verbalize it. Ok, I'll shut up now.
Stay in Him!!!
-Jack-
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Request For Prayer
Help. Please. I don't know what's going on with me. I told you about my strange days, well they just keep getting more strange. The last two days in a row, my boss has completely gone off on me, unprovoked. I know, I know, you're saying "well, you must have done something. Trust me, people, I know how to push buttons, seriously, I am good at it. But I don't know where this is coming from. He wrote me up yesterday for a disagreement I had with our "supervisor"-of-sorts. She's more like a gopher or facilitator. At any rate, we had a disagreement, she went and told him about it, he wrote me up, and THEN he called me in and questioned me, but would not listen to a word I said so I just gave up, said "ok." and signed the paper. Then today, I asked him if we could revise a particular order form and he completely went off, and told me that if I got smart with him, he'd send me home for the day. I hadn't said a word. Then he repeated the threat. I still hadn't said a word. It was insane. And see, it'd be different if I was totally level-headed and just let it roll off of me, but no, I have to get totally flippin' angry--I nearly walked out today.
Please pray for me, I don't know what's going on, but I need help. I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong so that I won't do it. And I'm also trying to stay calm and not go flying off the handle when this crazy random stuff happens. I'm just angry and baffled and confused... ugh. Please pray for me.
-Jack-
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Strange Days
I don't know what has been going on lately, but it's almost been surreal. I've had a lot of stuff just hanging in my head, totally hijacking my thoughts, and I can't quite figure out why.
Things that don't usually plague me... Like, all this last week, I couldn't take my mind off the bi-weekly poker game I play at my next door neighbors house... it was like this totally twisted anticipation... it was weird... like something big was supposed to happen this weekend. In a way, something did, I got into a big fight with someone I was trying to make an impression for Christ on... but I don't want to get into it right now...
And now I can't get my mind off this guy that plays with us, the one I ticked off. We sorta went toe to toe over something and I'm just really regretting the way it went. But anyway, this afternoon, I took a nap, and he showed up in the middle of my dream. I don't mean at my doorstep while I was sleeping, I mean he was in my dream--in his usual style too (he crashed my Bible study I was dreaming/having, lol). At any rate... Just really strange things in my head, I guess.
So my thought life seems surreal the last couple of days. I really don't think I have control of it right now. And not necessarily in a bad way. Either there is a spiritual battle going on over my thoughts, or else the Holy Spirit is taking His sweet time revealing something to me, and I just have to be patient, because my usual self has a serious problem with patience. I'm always chomping at the bit and itching to go, and this is taking time... I feel like it's something related to that group, though... So it's one or the other or a bit of both.
So until then, there's this haze around my thoughts, but through it I can definitely see the gang from poker night. Maybe the girls will start coming to church with me... I think the one is close. Her husband said last night (when I was hanging out with them again) that he gave up on church and doesn't want any part of it anymore. Isn't it convenient then that my church's little slogan thingie is "The Church For People Who've Given Up On Church"... Maybe it's a good thing they aren't ready for church yet... because my church isn't ready for them yet. It isn't ready for anyone for that matter. I'm starting to notice a lot of things that I think the leadership isn't even aware...
But again, that's for another post, this one is getting long. Heh.... anyway. Sorry I've been so infrequent.
Live it UP.
-Jack-
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Reality Check
Gotta love it. God is good, I say... I don't mean like "God is great, God is good, let us thank Him for our food" either. I mean like "That Man is goooood, He's real good" like, "slick" good.
So we were wrapping up practice last night, and Sam walked me out to my truck because he had to get a cd for me out of his truck. And we're chitchatting away, and he says to me: "What's this about you wantin' to go to school in Sydney?"
I'm like wha?? "Dude, Sam. You've known about that. Hillsong International Leadership College, Worship and Creative Arts. You know this, I've talked with all of you about this a thousand times."
"What good's that gonna do you?" he asks.
"Sam, what are you talking about??" I exclaim. "To go study under the likes of Darlene for two years!! Come on, what good would it do? I could learn so much!! You even saw me in there tonight, I can't even talk to you guys because I don't have the musicians vocabulary, I can't communicate, I can't get across what I'm trying to say, what I hear and feel inside--I can't convey that to you, because I don't know how. This could teach me how."
"Jack. Come on. What are they gonna do, teach you how to worship? You already know how to do that. And you don't speak our language because you haven't been with us. The more time you spend around it, the more you learn. You learn by doing it, by being around it. You have the talent, you just have to develop the skill, learn the trade."
That was my reality check last night. Sometimes I get blinded by the goal, I think. Hillsong would be an awesome opportunity, and I can't say one way or the other whether God will eventually lead me there for a time. But it was nice to be reminded to take my eyes off of it and see that there is work to do here and now. It was like an epiphany, almost. This dawning of awareness... it's like my head had gotten tangled up and almost thought that I couldn't lead worship until I'd gone to school for it.
I don't know, I haven't thought it all through yet, so it probably doesn't even make sense...But it was a pretty big moment for me.
We've been itching to do so much more. Seems like things ground to a halt when Dave resigned... But Sam has been starting to sniff around, and I'm chomping at the bit. We're really wanting more than just Sunday's at church.
I've gotta start writing some music. If any of you want to try your hand at songwriting, we'd love to play your stuff. :-) send it on over.
At any rate... Love you guys. Thanks for hangin' around.
-Jack-
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Eureka!!!!!!!!
I got my pass (read: wristband, pretty silver!) for Hillsong Conference in the mail yesterday!!!!!! Wahoooo!!!!!!! Oh my gosh, it's really real... it's really happening... I'm going to Sydney, Australia for a conference at HILLSONG!!! Holy wow. Ok. Gotta settle down.
Ok, just thought I'd share. :-)
Back to the grind...
-Jack
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We Have Liftoff!
Not exactly perfect, but she's running! Yay! There's a lot of gliches right now, but at least I'm running... For example: I have to hit ctrl+alt+delete and bring up my task manager just to disconnect from the internet right now... and I have to open up my browser to prompt the automatic logon thingie to show up, just to get online... And I can't access my AVG software... But it's on, it's not beeping and groaning at me, and it's actually running processes! Yay!!
Ok, it was suggested that I find and delete lsass.exe... Ok, I did a search for lsass.exe and before my computer shut down it had so far found like 5 lsass files... and one of them was in blue instead of black... and they all said that they were owned or whatever by microsoft corporation. Was I looking at the right file? I tried to shut down that process in the task manager and it said it was vital or whatever and that I couldn't (but that was later, in regular mode not safe)... I don't know. Ok, I'm sick of talking about computers right now, I'm boring y'all to death.
I'm going to bed, it's late, I'm tired, and work promises to be rather long...
Right now, I really dislike the FDA. Don't ask, I'll just get all angry again... Stupid big manufacturer's and all their money and having the FDA in their back pocket and ARGH. Ok, going to bed. G'night. Thanks for all your help and suggestions!
-Jack-
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Still Dead
Well, it's still dead... my computer, that is. I've tried a couple of restores, but none of them are working right. If I go back too far, it looks great but nothing works... If it's too soon, it looks all funny and works for 3 minutes then blows up again. So I guess tonight I'll try to find the perfect restore date, heh. Keep the ideas coming, though. My IT guy at work doesn't think it's Sasser because it's not giving me a countdown, it's just shutting down. I dunno... We'll see, I guess. Miss you guys!!!
-Jack-
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Argh.
My computer is currently dead. I'm having a hectic weekend, and will try to spend some time on it tomorrow night.
Any ideas? I'm thinking a restore, but that may not do the trick. It won't even let me log on. I can start it up in safe mode, but I'm really clueless after that as to how to fix it. I'm running windows xp home, if anyone has any suggestions. Thanks!
Love God, love others, love life, and live it out loud! Live and leave a legacy that points straight to Him!
-Jack-
P.S. - 3 weeks 'til Sydney!!!!!!!
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Always Read The Label
So the girl goes into the bathroom to find some contact solution or rewetting drops because her eyes are getting dry... And she sees a bottle that is shaped like every other contact solution bottle she's ever seen... She doesn't recognize the company, though, but thinks "eh... whatever, it's just an off brand". But just to be safe, after reading the brand, she turns the bottle slightly in her hand and catches sight of the warnings... It says not to use it with a particular type of contacts because it could damage them... hmmm, well that's not what type of contacts she wears, so no problem there... it says to keep it out of reach of children... hmmm, well she's 25, so no problem there... That's it, really... mentioned something about some kind of tablet... whatever. Well, ok.
She opens it up, and notices that the little nozzle tip thingie is red. Well, isn't that cute, it's color coordinated with the bottle, which is white with blue and red. How cute. So she pops her contact out and wets it with the solution, rubs it gently, and proceeds to stick it back in her eye... until the fury of hell is unleashed behind her lid, that is. She then proceeds to collapse shrieking onto the floor, trying desperately to combat her eye's natural defense mechanism to lock up like a vault, prying uselessly at her clamped-up-like-a-military-installation eyelid... all the while the searing burning make-you-want-to-scratch-your-eyes-out-if-only-you-could-open-them pain is only getting worse... Finally, after agonizing moments rolling around on the bathroom floor, she finally regathers her wits enough to beg God piteously to please just let her get the evil thing OUT. He grants her request, and she peals the wicked, horrible beast off her eyeball.
Over the course of the next hour, she spends 43 minutes soaking, and rinsing, and splashing, and otherwise wetting with tapwaterher her burning, itching, painful, swollen eye; 14 minutes pouring Clear Eyes into it, and 2 minutes groping around and trying to reassure her son that dinner will indeed soon be ready.
It is now approximately 4 hours later, and the best way to describe the way her eyeball feels would be to say: the surface of the actual eye feels as though it is severely sunburned... and the inside of the eyelid feels like sandpaper.
There are some lessons in life that you'd think would be easy to learn. You'd think you would simply have to be told, and told only once. You'd think common sense would do the rest, or at least memory would take care of it. But sometimes in life, you're stupid. And you don't read the label.
And as a result, you soak your eye with freaking PEROXIDE. Who puts peroxide in a product for CONTACTS?? And then they decide to split the warnings and instructions up and place half on one side of the label, and the other half on the other side of the label... WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?? I assert that the person who made that decision is (or at least was at the time) posessed by a demon.
After I had recovered enough to be able to see clearly out of my unaffected eye, I went back into the fateful bathroom and scoured the label... it was then that I saw the other side... Which said that this product contains peroxide and to never get it anywhere near your eyeball, and to avoid your contacts like the plague for at least for hours upon immersion in this solution, and that that cute little red tip is red for a REASON, not just to be cute, and that reason is to remind you of the warning to never put it anywhere near your eyes!!
So really, I shouldn't say: Always Read The Label. Rather, I should say:
NEVER put anything to use until you have thoroughly scoured the label and the insert, and sought expert advice. Then and only then may you proceed--with EXTREME caution--to use whatever it is you thought you might want to use... and ONLY if you have a list of every major medical specialist nearby... On second thought, make a voice recording of that list and keep it nearby too, on the off-chance that you render yourself BLIND.
There. There's my advice for today.
-Jack-
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What's Your Take?
A woman attends a church. Her faith is deepening, her walk with God is better than it's ever been. She's starting to really get it for the first time in all her years "in church", and she wants to make that public profession of faith: she decides it's high time she was baptized. She's nervous and excited all at once, and goes to the Associate Pastor of this church and tells him she'd like to be baptized at the water baptism event to be held in a few days.
He says: "That's great! Prepare your public testimony that you'll give, and let me know when it's ready. Then we can get you in at the next baptism event we hold. Unless you think you can get it written and rehearsed and ready to deliver in just a few days, I don't see how you'll be ready at this one. But let me know when you are--we'll get you taken care of" (with big smiles and an encouraging pat on the back).
She just sort of stands there in a bit of shock, nods her head, and goes back home. She calls her friend, and relays what happened. She bursts into tears and says "I can't do that! I can't speak in front of all those people! I can hardly answer a question at Small Group, how am I supposed to just give my testimony? It'll never happen, I just can't do that!"
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What do you make of this situation? What's your take on it?
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Fixin' Things
My computer seems to be recovering nicely. Thanks for all your suggestions, folks. :-) Y'all are great.
More to come soon.
(Sydney in less than a month, woo-hoo!)
Keep your eyes on Him!
-Jack-
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Arrrgh
My computer is so totally jacked up. I've had so many problems with pop-ups and browser hijackings and rogue program downloads---how are they installing software on my computer without my knowledge or consent, that's what I want to know. My computer just lets them?? ARGH.
So now windows keeps shutting itself down as a protection mechanism, because of all the "serious errors" that keep occuring. WHAT DO I DO?? egads. I can't even write my dad-gum support letter, my computer keeps shutting down.
Help...
-Jack-
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