1.29.2006

You're absolutely right, Pam...

I do need to get back to blogging. I need to start processing things again. I need to have that sense of accountability, however intangible it may be.

So how am I currently? I'm still struggling in plenty of ways, but the mood of the moment: resolved. I don't know if it'll last, I don't know what it will push me to do, precisely. But I'm in one of those mindsets that says "Enough. Pick your sorry self up by the bootstraps and get moving, 'cause ain't nobody else gonna do it for you." It's closely akin to the "sick and tired of being sick and tired" mood. It's time to stop feeling helpless and melancholy, to buckle down and do what needs to be done. I don't know exactly what needs to be done, but I'm feeling the need to do it. So that's kinda encouraging. We'll see where the motivation takes me.

Heads up, Lenny... But don't push!! I'll get there. ;-)

Financially, I'm tired of hanging by a thread, so that has just got to stop. I'm thinkin' about trying a short-term roommate or something. So be in prayer about that, if you think of it.

Emotionally, I'm tired of FEELING. At least, tired of feeling all the crap that has me down or hurt or negative or whatever. Tired of the tumult.

Professionally, I'm tired of juggling and struggling and trying to play catch up. I've got to stay on top of the paperwork or I'll drown in it. This is one area in which I've already identified a step to take. I'm going to go in an hour early every day until I'm caught up--hopefully it won't take more than a week or two. I realize that that's one less hour I'm with Tate, but our mornings aren't usually what you'd consider quality time or anything anyway. And he enjoys eating breakfast with the kids at school more than he does sitting at the dining room table alone while I whirl around him getting ready for work.

Physically, I'm still doing pretty good. Had my body-fat pop-quizzed last week: 7.5%! Woohoo! I've had a lot of things pop up in the last couple of weeks though that seem to be trying to throw me off my regimen (emergency conflicts with gym-time, basically), so I need to get my head back in the game and back on track.

So there (or here?) I am.

Peace out.

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