Strange Days
I don't know what has been going on lately, but it's almost been surreal. I've had a lot of stuff just hanging in my head, totally hijacking my thoughts, and I can't quite figure out why.
Things that don't usually plague me... Like, all this last week, I couldn't take my mind off the bi-weekly poker game I play at my next door neighbors house... it was like this totally twisted anticipation... it was weird... like something big was supposed to happen this weekend. In a way, something did, I got into a big fight with someone I was trying to make an impression for Christ on... but I don't want to get into it right now...
And now I can't get my mind off this guy that plays with us, the one I ticked off. We sorta went toe to toe over something and I'm just really regretting the way it went. But anyway, this afternoon, I took a nap, and he showed up in the middle of my dream. I don't mean at my doorstep while I was sleeping, I mean he was in my dream--in his usual style too (he crashed my Bible study I was dreaming/having, lol). At any rate... Just really strange things in my head, I guess.
So my thought life seems surreal the last couple of days. I really don't think I have control of it right now. And not necessarily in a bad way. Either there is a spiritual battle going on over my thoughts, or else the Holy Spirit is taking His sweet time revealing something to me, and I just have to be patient, because my usual self has a serious problem with patience. I'm always chomping at the bit and itching to go, and this is taking time... I feel like it's something related to that group, though... So it's one or the other or a bit of both.
So until then, there's this haze around my thoughts, but through it I can definitely see the gang from poker night. Maybe the girls will start coming to church with me... I think the one is close. Her husband said last night (when I was hanging out with them again) that he gave up on church and doesn't want any part of it anymore. Isn't it convenient then that my church's little slogan thingie is "The Church For People Who've Given Up On Church"... Maybe it's a good thing they aren't ready for church yet... because my church isn't ready for them yet. It isn't ready for anyone for that matter. I'm starting to notice a lot of things that I think the leadership isn't even aware...
But again, that's for another post, this one is getting long. Heh.... anyway. Sorry I've been so infrequent.
Live it UP.
-Jack-
