Argh.
So today was another exercise in willpower in which I failed. We kissed again. But at least we talked about it like adults afterward. We know we can't behave like this. And we're not going to anymore...
Truth be told, though, I want to. I know that's wrong, but it doesn't change the desire. Maybe it's just that I want any part of him that I can get. Ok, that's pretty pathetic. Sheesh. Don't tell anyone I said that.
On another note, I think I've unwittingly lured another into my web. I feel horrible, but I think he's just misconstruing everything I say. Guess I should just keep my mouth shut, eh? Yeah...
So I'm here. I made a c... c... commitment (*reel back in horror*) to blog tonight, and I've done it. That wasn't so hard.
And on yet another note, I think my counsellor is bailing on me. She cancelled last week, left me a message, said she was really sorry, all that, and can we discuss possibly trying to find a different time, as she's going to need to be clearing her Tuesday nights... So I called back, left her a message to give me a call so we can work out a time, blah blah... and I haven't heard from her. So as far as I'm concerned, I think I'm done. Not that I've worked everything out and it's no longer necessary because I'm all "whole" and stuff... But... wow, i think it kinda stings. Yeah... it does. Well, at least I can recognize the defense mechanisms shifting into play. I'm actually shutting down to her already. Wow, I don't really give people much slack, do I?
More to chew on, I suppose...
At any rate, I think I'll go ahead and c...c...commit to blogging again tomorrow night. Only good can come of it, right? Yeah... sure. But for whatever it's worth, I promise I'll blog tomorrow.
- Jack
