The Big, Cheesy (read: Fake) Hypothetical...
So I've, um, got this friend... and she has this friend... and she doesn't know what to do about the aforementioned friend...
Ugh. So Jack has hit the mother of all connundrums... For the first time in her life she is both attracted to a guy (yes, here we go again--skip it if you don't want to hear it), AND she really really truly values his friendship, in and of itself, completely independent of the attraction...
This is serious headlining stuff for her. Usually, her attraction creates the motive for friendship (i.e., to get close, get to know, etc)... But now, for the first time ever, the attraction is getting in the way. And I do mean seriously getting in the way.
It's completely aggravating. I've never wanted to flip the switch so bad, because I want this person's friendship. I mean, for pity's sake he's not even that cute... Well, don't get me wrong, he's extremely attractive... ex-treme-ly... but not to the point that I should be quite so ga-ga at the thought of him as I am...
And it's sooo frustrating and conflicting... I mean, I know I don't date anymore. And he knows I don't date. And that knowledge has provided this beautiful impasse that frees us to have a friendship... and that's where it all goes downhill. My stupid hormones get in the way and trip me up with thoughts I have no business having. And I really don't want to have them... which is strange for me...
I know that God is in control. I know that, ultimately, it is God who will decide whether I am to give my life to someone or not... and so for the present I strive to keep myself pure... in word... in deed... in thought...
It seems like for every new depth He takes me too, an equally profound depth of struggle emerges... It seems unfair. But who am I to judge?
-Jack-
