Isolated
It's funny... Ben's latest post is right in line with how I'm feeling... yet again. I posted a while back about feeling lonely and cut off... That I just want to feel alive, I want to feel like I matter, I just want to exist to someone outside myself. I know it's completely irrational, of course I exist, of course I matter, blah blah... But do I really?
I mean... do I really truly matter? No one but Tate relies on me for anything, really... No one but Tate needs me... No one but Tate wants me (obviously I can't substantiate that one, but I'm going with how I feel, so let it slide)... I feel inconsequential, and so utterly alone... I feel like I'm not there. I'm cut off from the world and there's no one to notice or care or come find me and bring me back...
I know that I isolate myself. I don't mean to, really... I just never get too close to anyone. I want to, I really do. I just don't know how.
So that's where my thoughts are currently on this Thursday afternoon. Now I'm going to go back to work and save the world.
-Jack-
