The Happenings
There really aren't many. Heh. All is well with Ames, so that's a totally super huge massive mega relief. And you know, sometimes she's just way too insightful and she dredges up things that I don't even know are affecting me. I suppose that's just another reason I love her...
Seriously, not much is happening. I'm just sort of drifting right now, trying to decide whether or not I should take some time off from the worship team at church. I've had two very hard-to-swallow conversations in the past week. The second was the one with Amy I alluded to up there. The first one was with Debbie. She rocks. She and Sam (my drummer) are the surrogate parents I sometimes refer to. Anyway... I don't have time to detail the conversation, but I got pretty well put in my place. Although my pride is a bit wounded, I seriously needed it, because I honestly could not see it for myself. Basically, it had to do with the resistance I've given the other leader on the team. I think I'm too fundamental right now, and I'm making it difficult for him. I'm supposed to be guiding and submitting right now, all to the same person... and I just can't figure out how to do that. So I think I need to step back from the team and let things settle, let him get used to taking control in a few areas, and then come back into a more humble position. As it is now, everytime he needs to make a decision, he goes straight to me, and then if he doesn't like my answer, it stresses him out. He's getting burnt out fast, and I don't want that to happen. And I know that I'm the source of his frustration. He's so eager to please me and everyone else that he won't just make a decision without consulting me. But consulting me causes strife among everyone.
I don't know if any of that made sense, I don't have time to explain, I have to get back to work. Hopefully I'll have a day in the next week or so to sit down and really hammer out some thoughts.
Here's a thought, though: I was reading Romans this morning on my cigarette break at work (don't start). It was talking about sharing in Christ's suffering so that we might also share in His glory... An idea sort of hit me... Right before that it's talking about dying to the flesh and letting the Holy Spirit rule our minds and not sin. Christ's suffering was not being ridiculed or rejected... it was suffering against His fleshly body. Jesus was tempted as we were but He never gave in to it. Perhaps that is the suffering he meant... in denying ourselves, our flesh, our sinful natures... Just a thought. I probably didn't expound enough, as what's running through my head is more of a novel than a paragraph, but maybe some of you will get the idea.
Ok, I gotta run. Share His suffering.
-Jack-
