"Are you still alive?"
Yes.
It's funny, I check my email pretty much at least once a day, often more. But tonight I had over a dozen people asking me questions along the lines of that there title. Made me feel good that people cared but also bad that I hadn't kept up with connecting to other humans. So it was a reminder to reach out again. I'm feeling it again---the isolation, the dark mood, etc...
To answer some other questions that were asked:
No, I haven't started counselling yet. The pastor gave me a card to call and work out a schedule. It's going to take a lot of nerve to make that call... Please pray for that if you think of it.
And yes, I have a new crush (run for your lives!!)... And no, it's not something that would ever work out, so don't worry, I'm not going near it. I actually, in some ways, find it all very amusing... as though I'm watching my emotions/hormones/whatever-it-is as a bystander and chuckling at the absurdity of it all... I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I don't want a relationship... I really don't. I've been trying to figure out just why exactly, aside from the fact that I don't think it's what God wants for me... I think some of it has to do with the fact that I just don't think I can handle any more work right now... I'm stretched thin as it is. Anyway, that's boring, let's move on.
Tate's doing well and growing like it's his job or something. And Tink... well, she's growing even faster. She is 5 1/2 months old, and weighs 67.2 pounds. The vet told me this weekend that by 9 months, she'll probably hit 100 lbs. She's considered a puppy until she's 18 months old... oh dear. But alas, she has "puppy acne"... that's a real medical term, can you believe it?? I have to go get Vitamin A and Fish Oil for her. Fun.
While Tate doesn't weigh nearly as much as Tink, he is a great deal smarter. Each day I am astounded by all that he learns. He's just like me in that regard--always hungry to know more. We're like little sponges. And physically, he's like both myself and his dad... I guess that's what happens when both your parents are athletes. He's three years old and just yesterday he picked up my younger brother's "razor scooter" for the first time and had it down pat in under 3 minutes. Dad took him to dinner the other night to a japanese steakhouse, and Tate ate with chopsticks. I thought my dad was exaggerating when he said, "he just picked them up like he'd never seen a fork in his life." I saw the pictures tonight and dad was right--I was amazed.
I learned a little myself tonight... My tires were bald, so bad that on one my belts were showing. So dad made me take my truck up to Firestone after work. They were a half hour from closing but they said my tires were so bad that they'd stay late, because they weren't going to let me back on the road in the rain with those tires. It was funny.. But anyway, I got to see how they change tires, and learn what the different machines do. The machine that checks the alignment is soooo cool. And the one that checks the balance is pretty nifty too.
So there. I highly recommend you go have your tires balanced and aligned and all that good stuff. It's entertaining and educational. Ok, I'm done rambling now.
-Jack
