Help! (really long, panicky post)
Ok. I don't know what to do. I've haven't really posted much about Tate's dad, mostly because he just isn't really a mentionable part of mine and tate's life anymore. But I'm faced with a situation in which I don't know what to do.
Basically, I've got to get out of this house. In some ways I love this place, but the ways in which I don't (one in particular) are starting to seriously outweigh the others. I rent a 3 bedroom home on a lake. The location is perfection. The size of the house is perfection. The yard is MASSIVE and could be really beautiful (but it needs some attention that I don't have time to give to it). All this, and I only pay $550 a month. When I tell people how much I pay for my house, their mouths drop open in pure shock. First off, the entire Orlando area is pricey. Cost of living here is ridiculous. The only reason I got this place so cheap is because it's OLD and in need of some serious updating. We're in FLORIDA, people, and I don't have central air. The phone company came out and pulled out a phone outlet that they stopped making phones to fit in like the seventies. I've got old wood-framed windows that would probably fall right out if you pushed on them. But it's cute, it has character, and the location could NOT be better. See, the owner bought the house fast and cheap when the previous owner wanted to dump it. She bought it, tenant and all. The previous tenant rented this place for FIFTEEN years. Who rents for 15 years??? She could have owned the place!! Whatever. Anyway. So the house just slowly fell apart while this woman lived in the spare bedroom for 15 years.
Anyway, back to the story. In the renters agreement, pest control is my responsibility. Anyone who lives around here knows that bugs are a HUGE problem. It's one of the reasons all the homes are built out of concrete block now. Heh, mine isn't. So after a while, I've seen enough roaches to send me packing so I call up the best pest control company in the area (Middleton). They come out and give me a one-year service agreement for approximately $500. Ouch. Ok. I pay it. Well, they come and practically sponge bathe my house in chemicals. Cool. Then I start seeing roaches again. WHA?? I just payed $500 to get rid of them! So Middleton comes out again (subsequent service calls are free! yay!). And the bugs go bye-bye. For a while... I start seeing them again. Mind you, Middleton's treatment is so powerful that they only need to treat inside the home ONCE PER YEAR. And yet, I've had 3 treatments in about 4 months. Hmmm... So they do a little digging, and they notice in my laundry room (where there are unfinished walls) that the house has what appears to be extensive termite damage. Ruh-roh. Guess I'm not going to buy it, as I had been considering. So they do a thorough examination of the exterior (aluminum siding). Looks like whoever put this up did a REALLY bad job. There are gaps all over the place.
Their verdict: whoever owned this house before finally noticed all the termite damage and threw up siding poste-haste to cover it up while they sold it off real quick.
What this means for me: There's nothing that can be done to stop the bugs from getting into my house unless the whole thing is re-sided. They can treat all they want, but they can't stop them from getting into my house.
Soooo. I'm done. I've had it. I cannot stand to see another roach in my bathtub, or under tate's bed, or in my kitchen, or crawling down the wall in my bedroom. Now, mind you, it's not like I just walk through my house seeing them all the time. But it's more than once a week, and I just can't take it. Winter is no problem, usually--I never see them then. But the warm weather has hit with a vengeance and so, apparently, have the roaches. I just got treated again a few weeks ago, and I still see them. There's one dying in my bathtub right now.
I can't take it anymore. I just can't do it. I refuse to live with the possibility of a roach crawling over my son in his sleep... touching our food, our clothes... It's beyond repulsive. These things carry diseases, for crying out loud. So if there is anything I can do to prevent Tate from living among these hideous creatures, I'm going to do it. But with my income the way it is, I can't afford anything else right now. The cheapest 2 bedroom apartment I can find (that doesn't put us at risk in whole new ways) is $800/mo... $250 MORE per month than I currently pay, for something LESS than what I have (roaches aside).
Boy, that was a lengthy lead-up to the dilemna, eh? Ok. So here's the dilemna. Jason pays two child-supports (one for his daughter of 13, I believe, and one for Tate), both in the amount of $110/week. I was actually awarded about $120/week, but I told him I wouldn't take more than he pays for his daughter. This was when my mother was watching Tate while I worked. Ok. The way child support works in Florida: (non-custodial parent's income) + (custodial parent's income) = total parent income, from which they derive a certain amount of "cost of care" for the child. Then, they calculate each parent's responsibility in that figure, based on their personal income, in percentage of the total. For instance: if Jason's income was $2000/mo and my income was $1000/mo, then the state might say that a child in a $3000/mo income home requires $600/mo in care expenses. Jason's income is 66% of the total income, so he would pay 66% of the amount required to care for the child, or $400/mo. That's child support.
Now, this does NOT include daycare costs. Based on Florida law, the non-custodial parent is responsible for 75% of daycare costs, in addition to the child-support award. So here's the deal: Tate has to be in daycare now (since mom got sick, and subsequently passed away), but my income has gone up from the previous calculation. So I did a little calculating again (not definite, but it gives you an idea of what to expect) and it's fairly safe to assume that with daycare in mind, Jason would now be required to pay me at least $160/wk.
Now. I used to get a check for $110 every week, almost like clockwork. I wouldn't get anything when he'd spend a week down here visiting, but that was fine... one or two weeks that first year were slow, so he'd be layed off and I wouldn't get anything, but that was ok. But now, I haven't seen more than maybe 8 of the weekly child-support checks since about October.... I don't know what to do. Starting in November, he supposedly got laid off a lot. I stopped getting checks, called him up, "oh, work's slow, i got laid off, but i'm going back in next week"... then i'd get one check and then no more, call him again "oh, i thought i told you, yeah, i was off for 2 weeks, then back on for a week, then off for 3 more" ok, Jason, could you at least just warn me when you aren't working, so that I know things will be tight? "Sure, no problem, i'm sorry, i thought i did." so then i see two checks and then they stop coming, i call, "oh, i didn't tell you? yeah, i've been off for like 3 weeks now, and it'll probably be another 2 or 3..." meanwhile, i'm penniless and starving. literally. that happened right around christmas. i couldn't even buy groceries, let alone presents for tate, so my mom did. even through all that, God provided, it was awesome.
Ok, anyway. Now Jason says he's been back to work for over a month, and I haven't gotten a check. Usually there is a 2 week delay from the week he works until I see the check from that week. Well, I still haven't seen a check. They garnished most of his tax return to pay all the support he owed to his daughter and tate. He got his tax return, along with a letter explaining where the money went. It said they took $1100 for Tate... ok, that was a month ago. Where is it? I haven't been able to get ahold of anyone at child support to find out because the only time they are open and i'm not working is my lunch break, and i sit on hold waiting for the next available representative until it's time to go back to work. So basically, there should be at least $1500 coming to me from that, but I can't bank on it because I don't know what's going on.
So my question now that you know the intimate details of the innerworkings of Florida's child-support system along with all MY dirty laundry... ugh... is: Should I take him back for the $160+ that he is legally bound to provide so that I can get out of this nightmare house, or just leave it go and live among disease-carrying mini-monsters? Mind you, I've also found 3 brown recluse spiders INSIDE MY HOUSE, along with the usual Floridian host of assorted spiders, silverfish, etc.
Help! What do I do? I know I'm entitled to that money, but I also fear ticking him off so that he quits his job or something and I'm left with no help... And I hate that I need his help. I don't want to need it. But I do... so what should I do? Daycare costs $120/week for crying out loud... And that's not just his--that's all of them. I actually switched daycares to save $7/week! ugh. I don't know what to do... Help...
-Jack-
