An Interesting Exchange
An interesting exchange occured this evening. The cast of characters: Jack; Jack's fairly impersonal, business-guru-type father (a.k.a. "Pookie").
----fade in to: out on the back patio, ESPN and Tate playing quietly in the background, Jack and Jack's Father sitting around the table, having a cigarette----
Jack: Heya, Pook.
Pookie: Hi. How was church?
Jack: It was alright...
Pookie: When is Aaron getting here?
Jack: Saturday evening, I think the plane lands around five.
Pookie: Ok. (pause) Where did you meet him, anyway?
Jack: Christians connecting dot com.
Pookie: Christians...connecting... dot... com?
Jack: Yeah. You remember when I signed up at Big Church dot com, right? Just to meet other christians and all... Remember, that guy Noah that came to visit our church a couple of times? That's where I met him. But Big Church changed things around, and I couldn't hardly sign on without having to pay, so I stopped going there. So I found an ad one day on someone else's blog for Christians Connecting and signed up there.
Pookie: What's a blog? Nevermind. Is this connecting place the place where you met that guy from Tampa?
Jack: Oh, the pastor? Scott? Yeah.
Pookie: Christians connecting dot com...
----The Big Impersonal Father frowns and looks around for a paper and pen, only finds important papers that can't be written on, so Jack hands him a scrap, and he begins to write, mumbling "christians connecting dot com" a couple of times as this scene plays out.... He then sets down the paper and pen, stares over Jack's shoulder thoughtfully...----
Pookie: Is it too soon to be doing this?
Jack: ...(big long pregnant pause)... yes.
Pookie: --quiet grunt of acknowledgement--
Jack: How are you doing?
Pookie: ...Lonely. I went through a bunch of mom's papers today... got all depressed... y'know...
Jack: I think what you should do is find some kind of group, some--i don't know--some local group of people, adult singles, whatever... that meets occassionally, at a restaurant or for some activity or something...
Pookie: (rolling his eyes and twirling his fingers) oh, woo-woo... can you see me doing that? Besides, I thought you said it was too soon.
Jack: I think it's too soon to go out with the intent of finding a specific single person for whatever, but I don't think it's too soon to get some social activity going, to interact and have some companionship. It's worked wonders for me, it's why I go to the lifegroups and stuff.
Pookie: You don't go to "lifegroups", you go to your next-door neighbors house and play poker.
Jack: (laughing) Dad, I did that all of twice, and I skipped this weekend anyhow. I go to lifegroup every other friday. That's what you need--some companionship, some friends, maybe not a Bible-study, specifically, like mine, but just people getting together, meeting new friends and all. Tate, don't run over mommy's feet, that's not nice.
----fade out----
It's only been, what? Six and a half weeks? Part of me is angry with him... Part of me is really grateful that he was honest and open with me... Part of me is sad for him, because he is lonely, and it's plain as day (for me anyhow).
But I know that if he does sign up at Christians Connecting or anywhere else, it's not fair to whatever woman he hits it off with. He's not ready for a relationship--this would be a rebound. Big time. It's understandable, but that doesn't change the fact that it's selfish--and it's not a healthy foundation for a relationship. He's looking for a replacement, something to fill the hole mom left... It's not fair to do that to another human being... with feelings of their own, needs of their own, hopes of their own.
Did I say the right thing to him? Should I have said more? Less? I just don't know... It's going to be very hard on the kids the day he brings another woman into that house. Very. Very. Hard.
Anyway...
-Jack-
