And Then There Was Joy
I am in SUCH a good mood, I tell ya! Doing things for other people is just plain AWESOME. And it's like an extra kick of delight when they don't know!! It's like you've got this happy little secret. I just love it. God's so awesome like that. I'm so grateful that He's given me the ability to take pleasure in selfless acts.
I wonder though, is it like that for everyone? I've known some people who have just plain hated even "doing the right thing" if they perceive that it costs them even the slightest bit, let alone going above and beyond... Are they the exception? Or am I? Something to think about.
I've started the BEST book. Ok, I know, I say that about all the books I like, but seriously, this book is REALLY great. It's called Each For The Other (Marraige As It's Meant To Be) by Bryan Chapell. It's all about sacrificial love, basically. It's based on Ephesians 5:21 - 6:4. I tell ya, reading this stuff, and focusing on God's design for marraige... I can hardly wait for Him to give me away.
Aaaaaannnnnd... since that's about as good a segue-way as I'm going to get (and I didn't plan it, either), I suppose it's time to tell y'all what's going on down there in my previous posts. Ok, where to begin?
I've been talking about South Korea a lot on my blog... well, ok, I haven't been talking much at all, but you know what I mean. At any rate... I've mentioned "Mac" a few times... Ok, how come I feel like such a nervous schoolgirl right now? LOL I can't believe I'm actually nervous. I feel so silly!
Ok, Mac and I have been talking... a LOT... and um... well... yeah, ok, I'll just say it. I've fallen head over heels in love with him. He's just PERFECT, it's unbelievable. He's everything I've ever looked for, he's more than I ever let myself hope for. I could list hundreds of things (but you probably don't want to hear about it, lol). Y'know what the greatest thing of all about him is? Ok, aside from his love for God... it's that he loves my love for God... HOW GREAT IS THAT?? It just floors me! In every other relationship I've ever been in, I've had to downplay my passion for God, my delight in His works, my eagerness to serve Him... And that's Mac's favorite thing about me! He said it actually excites him, gives him butterflies and all that. YAY!! I'm just so thrilled... wow...
Yeah, so in regards to the my-heart-has-been-crushed/love-doesn't-work-for-me post, it was basically a misunderstanding that I took out of context (because I'm grossly insecure like that). My knee-jerk reaction was to crawl back in my little hole and rue the day. But he didn't let me do that. 'Cause he's...AWESOME. Yeah, he's awesome. Y'all are gonna get real sick of me saying that, aren't you? Heh...
So anyway, I guess I have a boyfriend, lol. It sounds so funny saying that when you're an adult. "I have a boyfriend..." "I have a manfriend..." ok, no. "I have a.... I'm seeing someone" ok, that doesn't work, since he's on the other side of the planet. Oh, whatever: I'm in love.
So now I'm learning trust. Real trust. Not "play it by ear" trust that bails at the first little hint of trouble, but true trust. I have made a promise to God and to Mac (and to myself) that no matter what the consequences or how I feel, I'm going to trust him. I'm going to believe what he tells me and not what Satan is whispering in my ear. And in trusting him, I'm also trusting God and being obedient to Him.
It's an amazing experience to be involved in something that God has designed and planned and is executing, especially a relationship. We know that God brought us together and has His hands all over this. It's really, really exciting. To know that God is not only involved but that He's the focus. It's a powerful thing. It's something that is completely new for me (though I'm none too proud to admit that). But oh! What a glorious feeling!!
God is just so unbelievably awesome! Totally and completely unfathomable, the same and yet new. I know He loves me, I'm secure in that love. But I never dreamed He would show me in such ways! I mean, not only has He dropped me in the [digital] lap of the man I've always dreamed of, but He's gone infinite steps further. Point in case: I've always been frustrated by my "facial structure" so to speak. I have a very "strong" jaw, etc. I've just always hoped to find someone who can "see past that" and still find me beautiful... "Well, hi Jack. I'm God. Move over and watch this." Guess what Mac finds the most physically attractive about me. That's right: My Jawline. HELLO. Talk about exceeding my dreams! I mean, c'mon, how crazy is that? I just love it. God is so GREAT. He takes my insecurities and just completely vaporizes any perceived need I have for them.
I tell ya, I'm totally on cloud nine today, can you tell? Heh... Sacrificing for others just plain rules. I just wish I could see the look on the other person's face. But imagining it works just as well.
Ok, people, I've probably blabbed at you quite enough for one post. I think I might have to rethink my blog template, especially for times like these when I just go on and on and on. I need to rework my box so it doesn't seem so overwhelming. Ok, I'll just hush.
Go do something for someone--and be sneaky about it!! It's really fun! And remember that God longs to give you the desires of your heart. He loves you so much more than you could even fathom!!
-Jack-
