The Diplomatic Brush-off
Sorry for the cryptic nature of my last post. I just wasn't able to go into details at the time. Let's just say I was momentarily raw, emotionally.
I got a reply from the principal. I perceived it as a diplomatic brush-off. Mac isn't so sure about my perceptions. I guess we'll see. Basically, the principal cited three "hurdles". The tone of the message was such that he thinks the obstacles will make me walk away. Part of me is hurt, part of me is insulted (though I am loathe to feel that way, knowing he is a brother in Christ), part of me is saying "well, I'll show him, then"... heh. Basically, last night I was fully despairing.
The first thing I did was turn my eyes up and worship God. It was all I could do. I turned my volatile emotions over to Him, and told Him how much I love Him, how wonderful He is... I told Him that I know He will put me where He wants me. And that right now, I am precisely where He wants me.
Heather left a wonderful comment for me the other day, when I posted about S. Korea. She left me some amazing Scriptures (they all are, though, aren't they? :-) ).
I often seem to forget that we must have faith. I don't mean faith in God. Rather, I forget to have faith that He will give me what I ask. I'm always telling myself that I have no right to ask things of God, He has given me SOOOO much already. I'm unworthy of what I have now, so how can I possibly ask for more? But our Father longs to give us the desires of our hearts. It would be silly of me not to ask my Father to clear the way for me to give up serving the world and devote myself to serving Him. It is what He wants for me--He has placed this longing in my heart. The Enemy is desperate to stop me, for He knows the power that will come from a life devoted fully to God and His purposes. Satan is terrified of what a single heart longing to further the Kingdom of Heaven can do to his plans.
In talking with Mac, it was wonderful and inspiring to see how God cleared the way for him to be in S. Korea. After I heard back from the principal, my head was in a spiritual state of confusion. I thought "Ok, God cleared the way for Mac. He's not clearing it for Jack. Take a hint, Jack." And then I wondered if I really was supposed to take the proverbial hint, or if I was supposed to view this as an obstacle to be overcome.
With a little time, a lot of prayer, and some talking with Mac, I'm beginning to realize that this is indeed an obstacle. I won't go into all the reasons right now. I know that God is with me, and He wants me to fulfill the purposes He has set forth for my life (sidenote: i REALLY HIGHLY recommend reading The Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren). Everything will turn out just the way God wants it.
I'm gonna stop for now--gotta go get Tate dressed and out to tour the daycare he'll be attending come Monday.
Oh yeah, forgot to tell you: I got the job with Axium!! It's a great base pay that will meet all my needs and I get commission on top of that. Yeah, I'm kindof a pharmaceutical rep, now. It's a little more complicated than that, but it will suffice for now. PRAISE GOD!!! He meets all my needs, He's so awesome!! Ok, catch y'all later.
Psalm 4:3 "Know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself; the LORD will hear when I call to him."
-Jack-
