We must findses resssssst... preciousssss
Good great DOGS, I need some sleep. I'm very tired, in case that notion escaped you in the title or opening sentence. The show opens tomorrow, and I don't have the slightest idea whether we're going to be able to pull it off or not. This has certainly been an experience...
Isn't Golem the cutest little guy ever?? Yeah... anyway. My mom used to joke about looking like Golem when she first started losing her hair from chemo. It was really funny. That's mom for you--she's got a marvelous sense of humor. I didn't realize until I'd moved out and been on my own for a while just how funny she was. That woman should do stand-up.
It's tough to see her so tired, though. Seems like she's sleeping all the time. I wish there was something I could do (I tried to shave my head for "solidarity, sister!", but she forbade it). Please keep her in your prayers. Pray that God's will be done in her life, and in those around her.
I think one of the things that has made this (mom having cancer) the easiest to deal with is realizing the fact that Mom is a child of God. Not just in a generic sense, but really, fully comprehending it... first of all, that I am a child of God, and that He loves me, and has a plan for me, and is looking out for me... and then broadening that realization... so that I know that not only am I a child of God (and all that that entails), but that so is she. That concept has enabled me to be strong for her and for the rest of my family. It was a matter of changing my perspective from "God is allowing something to happen to my mom" to "God is working out His plan for one of His children." He cares about her every bit as much as He cares about me. He loves her, and is watching over her, and He's using her for whatever purpose He has laid out for her.
I hope that someone reading this will find new strength in my discovery... I hope that it can help someone struggling with something similar... I hope that it speaks to your heart, and that the Holy Spirit can reset your focus or perspective the way mine was reset. It's been so wonderful, this process of changing my way of thinking. We are not for earth, rather we are for Heaven. We do not belong here--we're only visiting this place, with a job to do. When you truly realize that, it changes EVERYTHING... it really truly does. It's like everything suddenly makes sense... your whole world opens up... and EVERYTHING in your life takes on new meaning, or loses its meaning entirely. You realize how trivial some things are, and how vital are others. Your old priorities just vaporize in the new light of understanding that God gives us through His word and His Holy Spirit. It's truly mind-blowing.
I'd like to recommend that you read A Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren. It was given to me as a gift, at just the right time (I finished it while mom was in the hospital getting tests done--just before the cancer was found). I can honestly say that it changed my life. Everything just became so crystal clear, and my thinking began to metamorphose. This new understanding is what allowed me to draw on the peace and comfort of God at such a devastating time... I would have been blind to it. But instead of being devastated, I am able to see the implications of such a time and experience, and the wonder of God and His mysterious plan.
I do not want my mother to die... But I realized that if she does, I will be alright...
Love God, love others, love life--and leave a legacy!!
-Jack-
