Jack's Personal Growth Chart

Well, I've submitted my blog to a few places... I'm so excited, I'm already on Blogs4God!!! Yay!

I think this process (keeping a journal) is going to be good for me. I just hope I keep up with it, lol.

For some reason, I wasn't feeling well earlier. It just snuck up on me suddenly, and I felt horrible for about an hour. I think the enemy is really trying to throw me off the path. I was praying and spending time with my son when it happened.

---Random News Flash: My son went on the potty today!! He'll be two in November, and this is his first time! Yay for Tate!! Now back to our irregularly scheduled programming---

Our church has been under attack in a major way since it's inception. So many things have happened to it's members that it can be really frightening and intimidating. I know that's what satan's goal is, but God is faithful. It's tragic, but it's also exciting. God must have some really wonderful plans up his sleeves for us if satan is trying this hard to thwart us.

I've been having really awful financial problems. I always seem to be on the verge of losing my house. First I lost my roommate (my younger sister) to rehab. She needs a lot of prayer, so please remember her. So there went her rent. Well, God has really blessed my parents, and my father was able to cover her rent for me. But now he'll have to stop because mom's medical bills are really mounting. So there goes $400 a month. At the same time, my mother is no longer able to watch Tate while I work. I've been looking around, and daycare is hideously expensive. I'm a paid actor--which means I make peanuts! They want more for watching him than I MAKE usually. So, I'm barely scraping by as it is, and now my income has DROPPED by $400/mo and my expenses have gone UP by about $500-600/mo. And ---this is really funny--- 2 Sundays ago, I was parking around back as I usually do at church, and the front of my car just fell into a culvert. I just sat there, looking around and going "Huh???". So I had $300 worth of car repairs to do before I could go anywhere (and now my credit card is maxed!!). Just things like that. Whenever I think things will finally settle down, something else happens--and it's getting progressively worse.

I'm not saying these things to whine--I truly am not. I'm surprising everyone around me (myself included) with how remarkable an attitude God has given me over this situation. A few months--heck, even a few weeks ago--I probably would have been panicking. Especially when Dad said I wouldn't be able to move back in for a few months to get back on my feet (mom is just too tired from the chemo, and it would be too stressful to have an energetic two-year-old underfoot all the time). But I know that God will take care of us. We're His children, and He knows what's best for us. He's in charge, and I need to stop worrying about it. I'll just do what He tells me to.

I do feel led to find another job, but I can't do that right now because I'm under contract at the theater until the end of November. If I tried to quit, I'd get sued, lol. But if I can find a good school for Tate and work out some arrangement with them, then it should be ok. The owner of the theater said she would have the Restaraunt Manager (it's a dinner theater) put me on the floor to wait tables 2-3 times a week, and I could make some extra money that way. It means working quite a bit more, but it would be during the day, when I can take Tate to school. If you remember that situation in your prayers, I'd be much obliged.

I'm not the only one having problems since our church was planted. My mother, who brought me to this church in the first place, was diagnosed with cancer this year. We were UNBELIEVABLY blessed to have caught it at all. It's the same kind that killed Mr. Rogers. It's in her lymph nodes, so there aren't any lumps or anything that you can feel. The only way to find it is if they are actually looking for it. See, she was watching my son one day while I was at work, and she tripped over our dog (Bonnie--she's the sweetest--a big pretty yellow lab) and fell, hitting her left side on the corner of Tate's playyard (like a baby gate, only it encompasses a small area for him to play in and is free-standing). Well, she didn't think much of it, but the swelling never got better, and after a few weeks, she was majorly swollen from her chest all the way down to her left hand. So finally, the doc put her in the hospital and they ran tests and put her on antibiotics, but nothing was working. She was in the hospital for FIFTEEN DAYS undergoing tests... finally, they decided to do a biopsy. The doc said when he took it out that it looked fine. It wasn't until the tests came back from the lab that they found the cancer.

How amazing is that? Like... gracious! God just wasn't gonna stop until we found it. And can you imagine... we found out because the dog tripped her! I just think that's so great. God uses the craziest stuff.

And if you really want to get philosophical, you could say that if I wouldn't have gotten the divorce, we wouldn't be living in Florida, and she wouldn't have landed on a Playyard, since she wouldn't have had one. God doesn't just use weird things... he uses bad things. Remember that. He can make good things happen from bad, or painful, or even sinful circumstances. He uses ALL things for the good of those who love Him.

Anyway, mom had a partial mastectomy, and has lost most of the use of her left arm. Plus she has lymphedema, which is basically because her lymph nodes were removed, so now she has nothing to circulate the lymph fluid that builds up in the area. So she's very swollen there. They weren't able to get all the cancer, but it doesn't seem to be spreading. Right now she's undergoing chemo, and she'll probably start radiation in December. Please, please, pray for her.

I think I'll stop now, lol. I've probably flooded you with way too much information in one post. I guess I just want to show you that satan is real, and he gets very upset when we move in the direction God leads us. He does his best to foil our plans, and separate us from God. But you don't have to give in. God is awesome, and He'll always be there with you. Just don't forget that. Worry about nothing, and PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING.

God bless you!

-Jack-

posted by Jessica "Jack" Smith @ 12:17 AM Comments: 0