9.26.2003

Sometimes I feel so totally and completely pathetic, lol. I can't even afford to buy a new cd--I have to scrounge up money to buy a used one! Oh well. God is teaching me how to rely on Him instead of on money. It's such a strange concept to us, since the world we live in is so focused around the dollar.

I think my biggest dilemna right now (aside from my appalling lack of the ever-popular dollar) is the confliction I feel when trying to remove its importance from my life. I'm afraid of being labelled irresponsible... having children just really messes with your head sometimes, lol. Like, I know I can take my own self off such reliance on money, but what about my son? He needs diapers and clothing and a solid roof over his head. Personally, I'd live in my car if I had to--no biggie. But I can't do that to him. I can go without eating for a time--in fact, it helps my walk with God (fasting can be such a time of spiritual growth and renewal). But I can't very well not feed my child.

If any of you have some insights, or even just a few encouraging words, please don't hesitate to verbalize them my way. I could really use some help in this area.

-Jack-

posted by Jessica "Jack" Smith @ 12:52 AM Comments: 0

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