The "D" Word
So yeah... I'm divorced. It's a big ugly wart on my past. An even bigger, uglier one if you know the highlights. So I'm going to give you the highlights, just so we're clear on the ugly...
I met James when I was 15. He was my brother's best friend. We started dating when I was 16, went off to college together when I was 18, got married when I was 20, separated at 21, and divorced at 23. Why the almost-two-years between separation and divorce? Well... we split up around our one year anniversary. The reason I didn't file for divorce shortly afterward was because I didn't have money for the attorney's fees, etc etc... and there was no rush. We were living in different states, blah blah... we basically ceased to exist to each other. I'll go into the details of that some other time... it was all very stupid.
At any rate... a few months after we separated, I met Jason... Tate's father... At this point in my life, you might call me saved, but I certainly wasn't living for God. I was worlds away from where I am now, spiritually... I moved in with Jason after a bit (not a long bit, either). And then I got pregnant... (I'll let you guess how).
Needless to say, one of the first things I did when I found out was file for divorce... The divorce papers ask if you are pregnant... Being the convicted sort of gal I was, I couldn't bring myself to lie on the paperwork. I mean, what if there was a snag and a hearing and I had to appear before a judge with a huge belly, all the while the paperwork proclaiming my unpregnantness is sitting right under his nose? So I told the truth and answered yes (where were these moral convictions when I separated from my husband?? Or when I moved in with someone?? Yeah... I don't know either).
Well, little did I know that in the state of Ohio, you cannot get a divorce if you are pregnant. Isn't that lovely? They make you wait until you've had the baby. Greeeeaaaat. So my divorce was not finalized until Tate was 4 months old. So I was married to James when I had Jason's child.
Sometimes I wonder how I'm going to shield Tate from it... I don't want him to ever have to know that... I don't know. Hopefully it'll never come up.
So there's some more ugly for you. Yet another layer of scum on the shower-curtain of my life. See, it doesn't quite paint an honest picture if I just say I'm a divorced single mom, eh? Ugh. I do some of the stupidest stuff.
I gotta get back to work. Learn from my mistakes -- Listen to the Holy Spirit.
-Jack-
