the coolest website EVER
ever, Ever, EVER... in the HISTORY of all websites... holy COW, words cannot do it justice, it is the most mind-blowing website... and best of all, it's for a CHURCH. duuuuude... you have to see this. whoah.
I was probably going to be visiting this church this coming Sunday, because my church is going to be meeting at the Sanford Alliance next week... I don't really remember why. I'm scatterbrained like that. At any rate. So we weren't going to be leading worship. It was all very cool, because I was just thinking about how I need to take a week off sometime soon and go out and network with another church, get a new perspective, see what's going on, get some ideas, whatever... i just don't want to get tunnel vision, you know? So all of the sudden, Chuck (my pastor) tells me he seriously doubts we'll be leading worship next week (this place is waaaaaaaay traditional-sit-on-your-hands kinda place, and we'd just probably raise eyebrows)... how cool is that?? I thought it was very cool.
Yeah, then I come home on my lunch break to grab a fresh nicotine patch (yes, I'm still trying), and I noticed my machine was flashing. So I checked and it's Dave... and he's pushing to get us to lead worship over there next week and he'll call me back with more details as they become available. Ugh.
Ok, is that a bad attitude for me to have? I just really felt like God was opening things up and doing His thing, and providing a way to nourish me for one Sunday. Then Dave comes along in his usual, Out-of-tune-with-God way and starts bulldozing things. Sandford Alliance doesn't want us to lead worship, our pastor doesn't want us to lead worship, the team was actually excited about this break... and here comes Dave, pushing again.
I don't mean to sound overly harsh... I guess I'm just... well, not frustrated, but rather more like "oooooh great, here we go again... will he ever wake up to anything else around him?"
I dunno... I'm rambling. Again.
Sam and I were trying to find a way to tactfully wake him up to a few things... especially his "performance behavior despite the words of piety coming out of his mouth"... So we decided to gift him with a copy of Darlene Zschech's Extravagant Worship (I so HIGHLY recommend this book to EVERYONE--worship leader, team member, tech crew member, Joe Shmoe on the back row--it's not just for the worship team!). So I bring one to practice and offer it to him. His reply? "Oh, yeah, I've already got a copy. Bill gave me one when I first came. I've already read it. Good book, though. I can totally see you in that book, though, y'know? It really helped me to understand the kind of person you are, when she talked about creative people and stuff."
Oh... ok, great. Yeah... ugh. Ok, I'm through venting for now... (you hope.)
Remember Who you are dancing for. We all forget sometimes... I'm just as guilty as Dave, so please don't think I'm sitting here judging him from my little Pedestal of Perfection. Y'all know better than anyone that I'm a Screw-up. But sometimes it really eats at me when I have some kind of spiritual epiphany and the rest of the world doesn't share my enthusiasm. It really eats me the way Dave talks about God, and how He's moving and working and changing our hearts and blessing us... and then to see him, and the way he talks and reacts and ooooooooh the way he WHINES... He's oblivious to the needs of the congregation (that's a big peeve for me). It's all about how he sounds best and what cute little tricks he can do on the guitar. There's just no fruit. He's constantly telling all of us that we can come to him anytime with our problems or frustrations or whatever... he wants us to lean on him and seek his counsel. I'm sorry, but I don't want to go to him. I don't want what he has. I see him and think "I hope I don't ever sound like that." It's harsh, but it's the truth. I want to go to someone who I know has overcome, someone I can look up to. Dave's not even aware that he CAN overcome, let alone trying to do so. There's just no fruit...
Sam's wife Debbie put it best, when she said to me one night: "Y'know, Jack, when *he* leads, and when *he* prays, we feel nothing. There's nothing coming out of him, it's just words. Aren't we supposed to feel what he says? I don't mean he's supposed to stir us up in a frenzy all the time or anything... but you finish a song, and there's all this energy, and we're so in love with God, and so full of that love and you can just feel it... and then Dave closes with a prayer and it's like as soon as he opens his mouth, the switch is flipped, and it's gone, and you just feel empty..."
Ok, so I guess I wasn't done... let's hope I am this time.
Just remember...
-Jack-
